I can sell things!

So before I moved to Austin I sold a whole bunch of my furniture. For this task I turned to the master of shady transactions and creepers: Craigslist. For posterity I’ve saved and uploaded my posts here. (most of these pieces found good homes. (Except the futon who was infected and slowly died alone on the side of the street.) Removed pictures because no one wanna see that.

Look! Look! Look at this wonderful Dresser of Dresserness! – $55

Hey you! Yeah you over there, the one sitting at their computer. Would you like this spazztastic Dresser? It’s an antique, older than both of us (though probably not). It comes with 6 roomy drawers. All in good condition. There is slight water damage to the top, but hey what can you do, we all have a little damage. Am I right? The home of this special little baby is both no pet, and non-smoker, so you know we good smell wise. If you’re looking at it going “Hey! I want a mirror too!” We gots that! for an extra 15 bucks or so I’ll throw in a matching mirror. Prices are negotiable, because we’re close like that.I know, I know, the picture isn’t all that grand, if you want I can send you better ones, just ask!

Futon for future fellowship! – $45

This right here my fine gentlemen and gentleladies, is a FUTON!!! I know, I know, but please hold your gasps and screams for later. Now this futon is a special futon, this futon folds down into a bed! Yep that’s right! This futon is something you can both sit on and lay on! A shocker I know! Well if you are interested in this fine fine futon then come around and discuss prices with me behind my caravan!

RIGHT HERE!!! A DESK!!! – $65

Settle around and I’ll tell you a story. A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, or in Gotha, I was tasked with building my own desk. So I headed out to the woods with my dog Yappie and we cut down some trees. I then shaved those trees into planks. And with those planks I built a car, then drove down to WoodYou and got the pieces to build a desk… The rest is, as they say, history! So please give this large desk a home where it will be loved and written on.
Prices are negotiable because I hate money or something. 🙂

Huh? Whut? A bedside table!? – $25

Come one! Come all! Come see this bedside table of the highest caliber and quality! This little table has done me a solid and held my things for years now. Things like lamps, alarm clocks, novels of reputable tastes, and boxes of condoms. I hope that this little guy can do you a solid too and hold anything that you could possibly want on the side of your bed. No need to inform me what those items be. ALSO if you act now for a LIMITED TIME you’ll receive a drawer! A drawer to hold more items! Yes! Just kidding, that always comes with it. Prices are always negotiable, because I was raised by gypsies.If you need a higher quality picture just ask! Thanks!

OH MY GLOB A CHAIR (and ottoman)!!! – $45

I have for sale one wonderful CHARTREUSE chair and ottoman. They come as a set and I’d like to sell them as such, there’s no gain from separating one from the other as it’ll only make both sad. They come from a gentle home with no pets and non smokers so there’s the guarantee that they won’t smell like crap! Willing to negotiate price. Need to sell these, i have no love in my heart for them anymore.I apologize for the crappy picture. I can send better ones if requested.

 

 

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